Approach and Theory
Understanding isn't just the first step—it's the foundation of everything we do.
Understanding Comes First
We don't begin with strategies. We begin with the question: What is this child's nervous system trying to tell us?
At Neuroharmony, our work is rooted in an understanding of the mind–body connection. We pay close attention to the adaptive responses children and families develop in the face of stress, change, or overwhelm. Whether it's anxiety, shutdown, outbursts, or avoidance—every behaviour has a reason.
Our approach helps make that reason visible.
Our Three Pillars
Relational Safety & Trust
The foundation of meaningful support, developed through consistent, attuned presence.
Pace & Space
Following the child's rhythm, allowing time for trust and regulation to develop naturally.
Creative & Flexible Approach
Dynamically adapting to meet each individual's emotional needs in the moment.
At Neuroharmony, we understand that meaningful support can only occur once relational safety and trust has developed.
Emotional regulation cannot be measured. Through the safety of the supporting adult, the child or young person can begin the journey of self regulation. This process cannot be rushed and must follow the pace of the child or young person. Time and space enables the body and brain to trust the safety of new feelings.
Relational safety and trust/pace needs a creative and flexible approach. This requires the supporting adults to be open to dynamically tailoring the approach to meet the individual's emotional needs in the moment.
Why Polyvagal Theory Matters
At the heart of our work is the Polyvagal Theory, developed by neuroscientist Dr Stephen Porges. This framework helps explain how our bodies and minds respond to cues of safety and threat—often without us even realising it.
According to Polyvagal Theory, the nervous system is constantly scanning the environment, asking one key question: Am I safe?
When the answer is yes, connection becomes possible.
When the answer is no—even subtly—we shift into protective states: fight, flight, freeze, or shutdown.
These aren't choices. They're responses. And when we see them through that lens, we can begin to respond with compassion instead of control.
What This Looks Like in Practice
We use Polyvagal Theory as a map—not a script.
In real life, this means:
- We view dysregulated behaviour as a sign of unmet nervous system needs, not defiance
- We don't ask "What's wrong with this child?"—we ask "What's happening to this child?"
- We work to create safety in the moment, rather than manage symptoms
- We support children and families with or without a formal diagnosis
- We hold space for grief, trauma, loss, and systemic overwhelm as valid parts of the picture
Our practitioners have trained directly with Dr Porges and other leaders in this field. But more than theory, we bring the presence and relational attunement that turns theory into real, felt support.
Working With the Whole Nervous System
Our approach is especially supportive for children and young people experiencing:
- Heightened anxiety or panic
- Shutdown, withdrawal, or dissociation
- Avoidance (including PDA-style presentations)
- Emotional dysregulation following loss, change, or adoption
- Sensory overwhelm and environmental sensitivity
- Difficulty feeling safe in home or school environments
We also support parents, siblings, and extended family in understanding how nervous system states shape behaviour, communication, and connection. This shared understanding allows families to respond in ways that are supportive, not accidental.
It's Not About Quick Fixes
What We Don't Do
- × Offer reward charts
- × Ask children to mask
- × Push for compliance
What We Do Instead
- ✓ Slow things down
- ✓ Co-regulate
- ✓ Make sense of what's underneath
The Result
When safety is restored, connection becomes possible, and from connection, real change can begin. Naturally, in its own time.